Leaving an Abusive Relationship Safely: First Steps (U.S.)

If you are thinking about leaving an abusive relationship, you do not have to solve everything tonight. Start with safety. If you are in immediate danger, call 911. For confidential safety planning, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE, or text START to 88788, when it is safe to do so.

Technology can be part of the risk. If possible, use a trusted device or phone the other person cannot access. Review location sharing, connected accounts, family plans, smart-home devices, and shared passwords only when doing so will not alert them. A domestic violence advocate can help you plan these changes more safely.

Choose one or two trusted people, a place you can go, and a transport option. Agree on a code word that means ‘call for help.’ Think about children, pets, medications, mobility needs, work, and school. If leaving now would increase danger, an advocate can help build a plan around your actual circumstances.

If it is safe, collect identification, keys, medicine, bank information, immigration papers, court orders, children’s records, and emergency contacts. Keep copies somewhere the other person cannot reach. But do not put yourself in danger to collect evidence or belongings.

Safety is more important than completing a checklist. State and Tribal courts may offer emergency or longer-term protection orders, sometimes called restraining orders. The names, eligibility rules, evidence, and filing process vary. A local advocate, court self-help service, or lawyer can explain the options.

An order can be important, but it does not replace a practical safety plan. If it can be done safely, preserve threatening messages, photographs, police or medical records, dates, and witness details. Store copies outside shared accounts. Do not confront the other person to obtain evidence, and do not announce a plan online. An advocate or lawyer can help decide what is useful without increasing risk. For general legal

information, you can call Legal Hotline at 1-844-690-0555, free, twenty-four seven. If you need formal advice, Legal Hotline can help arrange a separate consultation with a licensed U.S. attorney, subject to availability and acceptance. In immediate danger, call 911; for specialist safety support, use the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

The bottom line: use a safer device, involve a trusted person or advocate, plan where to go, protect essential records, and get local legal help for protection, children, housing, immigration, or criminal issues. This is general U.S. legal information, not personal legal or safety advice.